Perception: The Mythical Costume

Anyone who knows me knows I’m a huge fan of actress Shannen Doherty. She’s incredible! Plus, she can act. I loved her character in Girls Just Want to Have Fun. I loved her in Beverly Hills, 90210. I adored her in Charmed. I’m sorry, but the show sucked after Prue was killed. However, I find it interesting how strong minded individuals retain bad wraps because of their inability to conform. While it is not to say that Doherty didn’t have her share of problems, I think the deeper issue is our society’s innate complacency in vilifying outspoken people. 

I’ve seen this play out many times in my own personal life. After directing “3 Blind Boys”, I was branded by some as difficult or rather “demanding.” I used to hate that word “demanding” because it represented negativity. I would always think back to Doherty and the Hollywood stories behind the scenes on her hit television shows like Charmed and 90210. But then I started to examine myself, and I realized that when you demand the best for yourself, you hold everyone you’re around to that same caliber or standard. 

(Pictured: L to R: Alyssa Milano “Phoebe”, Shannen Doherty “Prue”, and Holly Maries Combs “Piper” in Charmed)

As an artist, I feel that it is my duty to pour my heart and soul into anything I do regardless of what others might say, think, or feel. It is my duty to work. It is my duty to tell the most authentic story. So yes, when someone says I’m demanding. They’re right, but the connotation behind it is full of nothing but positivity. I believe in excellence. Point, blank, period. I believe that regardless of what type of project one might find themselves part of, you should put your best foot forward. You shouldn’t demand anything less than your best. 

(Pictured: L to R: Jennie Garth, Ian Ziering, Tori Spelling, Jason Priestley, Brian Austin Green, Gabrielle Carteris, & Shannen Doherty in a 2019 promotional photo for BH 90201 reboot)

Recently, a reboot has since emerged with Doherty starring as a heightened version of herself in BH 90210. I’m ecstatic because I’m only tuning in each week for her. No shade to the rest of the cast, but they are irrelevant to me. I think what I find interesting is despite the others addition to the show, Doherty was the piece that enhanced the success of this reboot. The demanding, troublemaker is boosting ratings. She’s had the least amount of screen time, but yet she’s captivated my attention so greatly that I find myself rewinding the timeline on Hulu just to see her scenes replay. She’s a terrific actress. Brilliant. 

I grew up watching Beverly Hills, 90210. Unfortunately, by the time I was old enough to develop character favorites the show was in its 8th or 9th season. My sister was always a big Brenda Walsh fan, and I became one too simply because I always thought Doherty was very pretty. 

But I’ll be honest, my true love for the character of Brenda Walsh has only recently blossomed. For the last several weeks, I’ve found myself binge watching early seasons of Beverly Hills, 90210. I see why the show was considered timely for its debut back in the 1990s. It dealt with racism, misogyny, sexuality, alcoholism, drug abuse, suicide, and teen pregnancy all within the show’s first two seasons. That’s wild!  

(Pictured: Vivica A. Fox in Season 2, Episode 9 “Ashes to Ashes” on Beverly Hills, 902010)

I thought it was dope to see the Season 2 episode entitled “Ashes to Ashes” feature several critically acclaimed African-American actors like Richard Roundtree (Shaft) and Vivica A. Fox (Two Can Play That Game, Empire). The episode neatly dealt with race, and this is why Brenda Walsh has my undying love. Out of all the characters on the show, Brenda embraced the Ashes who were the black family that moved next door to the Walshes. She challenged her own brother, Brandon on his own racial biases and prejudices. She even graced her beautiful, physical presence into the hood of South Los Angeles with no concern for her own livelihood. I thought this act of character was DOPE! 

There are countless episodes showing Brenda’s fearlessness as an individual. She speaks her mind. She doesn’t mince words. She’s intune with her emotions. She’s able to see things from a wide lens perspective, and she has no problem admitting to her own mistakes. She’s the only character out of the group which included “Brandon” (Jason Priestly), “Andrea” (Gabrielle Carteris), “Steve” (Ian Ziering), “Donna” (Tori Spelling), “David” (Brian Austin Green), and “Dylan” portrayed by the late Luke Perry to actually be honest about who she was no matter the cost. 

(Pictured: Shannen Doherty as “Brenda Walsh” in Beverly Hills, 90210)

In life, we slowly murder ourselves in order to fit the mythical, perceptive costumes people force us into rather than focusing on what makes “us” unique. A week ago, I was asked to sing at church. I hadn’t been in almost two months as I’m taking a sabbatical away from toxic energy. Unfortunately, my church is in transition like many others of this day and age, I purposely chose to remove myself from the toxicity. It’s been great. However, falling back in line with the toxic nature of those folks was not my idea of a good time. 

Anyway, I got to church late because I hadn’t been sleeping well. I didn’t feel well, and I honestly could have laid my fat behind on the pulpit pew and fall asleep. When I arrived there were no seats in the back for me to sit. The leader told me to sit up front. I declined because I knew I was sluggish, and I didn’t want to sit up front looking crazy. Yes, we live stream our services! LOL! 

My first thought was to ask the others on the back row to move down, but then after getting the evil eye from every single person sitting up there I opted to sit in the hallway. Child, when I tell you my election to remove myself from a potentially climactic situation resulted in hurt feelings. Two women came to me expressing remorse for my lack of welcome. I honestly wanted to say “bitch, can’t you see I’m not in the mood right now.” It’s like people always assume shit is about them when really it’s about you. I was so exhausted my eyes were swollen shut.  A simple “awe, Bob I hope you feel better soon, love” would have sufficed. Needless to say, my spirit was vexed the rest of the day. 

Later that day, I sat in the car sleeping while my mom window shopped. I had been to church, but I hadn’t received a thing spiritually. I decided to turn on my YouTube Gospel playlist. Bruce Parham’s “Call On Jesus” came on. Now that’s one of my favorite songs, but boy was it even more powerful in that moment. I found myself in tears. I realized that when people hurt you, you truly must give them over to God. Your spirit is often vexed in these toxic situations because you take on those individuals energy. If someone mistreats you, it says more about them than it does you. LIGHT BULB MOMENT! 

Have you ever been disappointed by people Who call themselves your friends Said they had your back Through thick and thin I know just how you feel When your so called friends let you down If you call on Jesus He'll be there Have you ever had your back up

This made sense because out of all the people I came across while sick, lying in the choir loft until it was time for me to sing. A sweet, sister friend of mine “Lisa” sat next to me before she headed back into the choir stand. We laughed and talked. She could see I was exhausted, so she cracked jokes. She had me in that seat smiling and laughing like nobody’s business. It was a refreshing experience. Beautiful. I sat and thought about that moment while listening to the song, and I realized that those are the precious moments we must hold on to. My therapist always says to “reframe your thought processing.” She’s absolutely right. 

I know to some I may come off as honest, independent, and maybe even a little “bitter.” I assure you I’m not. I’m just tired of the bullshit. I’m going to unapologetically speak my mind. I’m going to tell you how I feel. I’m going to be honest and transparent about who I am regardless if you agree with it or not. I don’t care. I’m like Brenda Walsh. Why should I lie about my feelings? Nope. Nope. Nope. 

Thank you, Shannen Doherty for reminding me through your portrayal of “Brenda” that it is okay to be unapologetically you. As a matter of fact, it rocks and I salute you for always upholding that standard even for yourself as an actress.

When the perception you give to the world is dressed in the form of a costume, it is time for you to strip nude and remember why you’re the unique, unapologetic king or queen that you are!